Help that wasn’t asked for

When will people here understand that you can’t barge into someone else’s house with your own rules? Even if it’s your son’s house, it’s not your mother-in-law’s!

Long before the birth, my mother-in-law said she’d come over every weekend to help with the baby. I felt awkward refusing her help, so I told my husband. But he was surprised, saying I couldn’t count on him, he was working, and that my mother should help. Especially since I’d asked for it.

I wasn’t counting on my husband; after three years of marriage, I’ve already learned that he’s not accustomed to housework. God forbid I bother him on the weekends to help with the cleaning; it’s easier to do it myself.

And now my mother-in-law is here every Saturday and Sunday. She fusses, doing things that aren’t even necessary. She asked me to just watch the baby and take him for a walk if she came. In that time, I’d clean, cook, and get some sleep. Although my mother-in-law brings her own food (thanks to her for that). But I’ve told her a million times that I only iron my husband’s shirts and summer clothes, and not even all of them. She starts ironing the bed linens, which I never iron.

So I stopped my mother-in-law from ironing with one simple phrase. I told her I’d let her pay the electricity bill. That was it, she calmed down. But I could see she didn’t like it. I replied that she’d already neglected her house, and I’m still unhappy.

Now I want to refuse such help altogether, but I know my mother-in-law will be offended.

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